Things Teenagers Say

Showing posts with label Things Teenagers Say. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things Teenagers Say. Show all posts
Saturday, November 4, 2017

Volume 46: Things Teenagers Say

It doesn't look similar it's been that long since my last book of Things Teenagers Say.  I gauge that way my kids bring been VERY chatty lately!


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:

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Student 1: I don't become to church, but Jesus is my uncle.
Student 2: If you lot did got to church, you lot would know that Jesus is your manful mortal raise - non your uncle!

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Student: I read your final things teenagers state post, as well as I was responsible for vii of them.  I counted.
Me: What does that state close you?
Student: It says I'm your favorite student, as well as you're non going to bring a spider web log ane time I graduate.

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George Strait is how I asked my lady friend to prom.

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Let's construct a pair for the river that nosotros cry.

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I'm progressively becoming friends alongside to a greater extent than as well as to a greater extent than underclassmen.  I don't similar it.

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You dented my cup!

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If my mom says "K" to me ane to a greater extent than time...

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You demand to come upwards hang out alongside us ane night.  You'll express joy thence much, you'll bring abs!

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I don't know how to tweet on tweeter.

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I didn't desire you lot to larn kicked out of class.  That's why I punched you.

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Can I become to tiffin early on because I bring to become option upwards a shotgun later?

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Sit downwards as well as verbalise to me close Law as well as Order SVU.

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I don't similar this whole unmarried telephone substitution concern without a keychain.

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You know, breathing isn't genuinely that fun.

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Every determination nosotros brand puts us into or thence other universe.

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Let me write that downwards on my non-existent information sheet.

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Me: Statistics is the report of data.
Student: I know all close data.  I bring unlimited.

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Did you lot know that fifty-fifty if you're trash you lot tin yet create things?  It's called a trash CAN, non a trash CANNOT.

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Student: Why didn't I larn named after my father?  I'm jealous!
Me: My mom was named after her mother.
Student: Was she from England?
Me: No.

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Isn't ane 24-hour interval on the satelite the same every bit 5 days on earth?

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If your telephone falls on your face, as well as thence you lot bring it coming.

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I'm non a tomato.  I don't bruise easily.

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Student: What type of music create you lot heed to?
Me: Christian music.
Student: You become to church?
Me: Yes.
Student: I used to, but I got kicked out.

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She'll likely interruption upwards alongside you lot if you lot lose her pencil.

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These kids made crossbows out of pencils, as well as ane of them shot me!  It was...AMAZING.

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Me: Please don't enjoin me that you lot are talking close disposing of bodies.
Student: I'm talking close cannibals.  He's talking close disposing of a body.

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Zero isn't a number simply similar Pluto isn't a planet.

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I'm a lot of people's spirit animal.

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Me: Is anyone inwards hither a Gemini?  It's a horoscope sign.
Student: Oh, you lot hateful those things similar scorpio as well as squirrel?

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I'm close to orangutan you.

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Santa Claus tin jibe downwards a chimney, thence that way an astronaut can, too!

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Does "shrimp" bring 2 syllables?

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I exclusively opened my oral fissure ane time proverb "elephant," but it has to a greater extent than than ane syllable.

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I can't syllable.

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Let me simply larn the polar deportment out of my garage.

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In kindergarten, I was a failure.

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Student 1: I made the best manus turkeys inwards kindergarten.
Student 2: No, I made the best manus turkeys inwards kindergarten.  My turkeys were...SMASH!

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Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Volume 47: Things Teenagers Say

Welcome to some other mass of Things Teenagers Say!  This is a compilation of interesting things that direct maintain been said yesteryear my students over the final brace of weeks.  Enjoy!


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:


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Student 1: I haven't had information inwards 2 months.
Student 2: I haven't had information inwards 2 years.
Student 1: I would kill myself.

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Student 1: If I weighed 900 pounds, I would last actually proficient at football.
Student 2: You wouldn't last able to run if you lot weighed 900 pounds.
Student 1: You don't direct maintain to run inwards football!

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You tin whorl an astronaut downwards a hill, but you lot don't come across people doing it!

Said piece students were playing Slapzi (affiliate link).  

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Goldfish are NOT sold inwards hardware stores.

Also said while students were playing Slapzi (affiliate link).  

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Student: I'm giving upward on school.
Me: Why?
Student: This waking upward matter is simply besides much.

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He's a proficient vocalist but for the incorrect band.

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Student: My mom is crazy.
Me: Two Nice Things.
Student:  She has a prissy daughter, too I similar the coloring of her bedspread.

Note: Two Nice Things is in all probability the dominion I enforce the most inwards my classroom.  If students tell something hateful nearly individual else, they direct maintain to brand amends yesteryear maxim 2 prissy things inwards return. 

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It's similar me too armpits.  They freak me out.  I HATE armpits.

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You simply spit all over my paper.  You are going to switch papers amongst me now.  I simply direct maintain to direct maintain my mention off of it.

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H5N1 stick can't swim, then it ain't a fish.

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Student 1: Ewww...there's an opened upward coughing drib inwards my pocketbook that got wet.
Student 2: Give it to me.  I desire it!

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Hey Mrs. Carter!  Have you lot always seen a sicker pair of crocs?

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Don't approximate my separate ends.

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Ready, Set, H2O!

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If it rains at 2:00 p.m. I am getting away from you.  You are cursed!

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Some youngster inwards my nutrient prep shape yesterday asked me the ingredients to a scrambled egg.

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Now, don't permit your Angle Side Side show.

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I had a toupee earlier I got my pilus cut.

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Student 1: *Sneeze*
Student 2: God Bless You.
Student 1: God doesn't bless demons.

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If you lot drib out of high schoolhouse when you're 18, your solid unit of measurement volition most probable shun you.

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I'm playing Connect Four because my life is sad.

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Why would you lot purpose a lighter to calorie-free a match?

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Student 1: It's hotter than that place.
Student 2: Hell?
Student 1: No, heaven.
Student 2: Heaven?
Student 1: I said it's hotter than that place.

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Student 1:What's Easter?
Student 2: Really?
Student 1: Oh.  It's that vacation where you lot sit down some the tree too merchandise presents.
Student 2: That's Christmas.
Student 1: I idea Christmas was when you lot went door to door too asked for candy.

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Student 1: How far produce negative numbers go?
Student 2: Probably equally far equally positive numbers go.
Student 1: How far produce they go?

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Can you lot larn liposuction on your finger?  Because my finger is then fat.

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Monday, October 30, 2017

Volume 45: Things Teenagers Say

Today is the final official (non-weekend) solar daytime of Spring Break.  To celebrate the fact that I'll hold out dorsum at schoolhouse soon, I've decided to outcome or thus other book of Things Teenagers Say.


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:


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Can nosotros delight sing the Backstreet Boys?  There are v of them.  There are v of us.  It's destiny.

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Student 1: I beloved Mulan.  She's my favorite Disney princess.
Student 2: Off of Aladdin?
Student 1: That's Jasmine, you lot uncultured swine!
Student 2: Do non telephone telephone me a grunter of which I farm.

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Student: I'm going to snapchat the instructor across the hall a moving-picture exhibit of himself.
Me: That's non at all creepy.

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Student 1: Is at that spot a cactus inwards the ocean?
Student 2: Uhhhh no.
Student 1: Then what's that "c" affair inwards the ocean?
Student 2: Coral.
Student 1: Oh.

This was shortly followed by...

I killed a cactus once.  It's bring upwards was Billy.

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Apparently the final affair I copied too pasted was "Don't launder your pants.  You bring my chapstick."

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I am non multi-tasking. I am multi-talented.

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Student 1: I figured out what I'm doing amongst my life.  I'm going to hold out an Oklahoma Highway Patrol.
Student 2: If I popular all of your blackheads for free, does that hateful you lot tin give the axe never describe me over?

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Student 1: Why is it making me pose inwards a number?
Student 2: Because it's a calculator!

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Did you lot know that you lot are born naked?

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Student 1: If today is the 28th, how is tomorrow the 1st?
Student 2: It's February.
Student 1: How does that alter things?
Student 2: Feb entirely has 28 days.
Student 1: Oh.  I knew that.

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Student: Do you lot desire to remove heed the practiced tidings or the bad tidings first?
Me: Good news.
Student: Well, I'm here, too I'm create to learn.
Me: Then, what's the bad news?
Student: I don't bring a pencil.

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Want to merchandise your telephone for a coughing drop?

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Me: Who is absent today?
Student: I'm absent.
Me: Okay.  I'll grade you lot absent.
Student: Don't genuinely grade me absent.
Me: I know that you're here.  It would hold out difficult for soul to missy your presence.
Student: I don't bring presents.  I bring gifts.

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I know people who tin give the axe fade dark pilus genuinely good.  Not dark people hair.  Black hair.

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Mrs. Carter is going to become from famous math instructor to trunk edifice success.

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Mrs. Carter, has anyone e'er told you lot that you lot are such a quintic trinomial?

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Eyebrows are sisters, non twins.  Sometimes if you lot mess up, they don't fifty-fifty await similar they are related.

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Me: Who's playing amongst a slinky?
Student: Who's non playing amongst a slinky?
Rest of Class: *raises hands*

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I had a dream nigh your flat the other day.  It was TERRIFYING.

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Student 1: Hey, I was going to accuse my telephone correct there.
Student 2: You tin give the axe even thus accuse your telephone correct yesteryear mine.
Student 1: Actually, I can't.  My telephone would scare your phone.  It's an iphone.

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Hey, I read your things teenagers nation on your blog.  I brand upwards at to the lowest degree one-half of those posts!

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The headband's going down.  I hateful business!

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While doing a scientific discipline demonstration...

It's magic.  You're a witch!  (And, too thus he proceeded to literally run out of the classroom)

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I was nigh to verbalise to 1 of my friends inwards an Australian accent.  But, too thus I looked over too your married adult man was sitting correct there.  So I decided I ameliorate non do it.  But, 1 of my friends tin give the axe entirely sympathise me if I verbalise inwards an Australian accent.

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Student: Your husband's accent makes him scary.
Me: He is non scary.
Student: Of class you lot would nation that.  He's your husband.

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Volume 44: Things Teenagers Say

It doesn't look similar it's been that long since I posted Volume 43 of Things Teenagers Say!  I estimate that simply agency my students accept been on a curl lately...


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:


You're a math teacher.  You shouldn't live talking nearly alliteration!

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Did you lot know that mom spelled backwards is mom?

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I know how to play this game.  I'm similar a geek at Battleship!

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I similar your 1 earring.  I don't tending how you lot lost the other one, then don't enjoin me the story.

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You glittered all over my bag!

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Student 1: She's bullying me amongst money.
Me: What?!?
Student 2: I won't hand him a dollar

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Guys!  Use your within heads!

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I'm then item nearly my shoe laces.

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Yesterday, you lot were dressed similar a banana.  Today, you're dressed similar an unpeeled banana.

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Student 1: My mark is going out.
Student 2: Hey, at to the lowest degree you lot lastly got mortal to become out amongst you.

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Student 1: I accept a pilus inwards my sock.
Student 2: I accept a pes inwards my sock.

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Student 1: I HATE Chinese food.
Student 2: And, Chinese nutrient HATES you!

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I'm going to file a bullying study on you lot for non wearing socks.

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My hereafter plans are to conjoin a rich sometime human being as well as overstep away immature inwards my 30's.

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Heroin is bad for your health.  Cocaine isn't equally bad for your health.

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I accept to a greater extent than chins than friends.

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A pupil describing their dream: 

You were dead because you lot got into a polygamist hubby fight.

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Student 1: What happened to your sister?
Student 2: All I know is that she did SOMETHING to her knee, as well as they are going to accept to create SOMETHING to her knee.

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Student 1: What does your bracelet say?
Student 2: Ecuador.
Student 3: Isn't Republic of Ecuador the house where they ready floors?

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Mr. Carter should vesture a accommodate covered inwards Christmas lights to prom since he is the low-cal of your life.

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Student: I simply noticed that lifeguard is misspelled inwards this problem.
Me: Oops.
Student: Yeah, it's life G - U - Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 - R - D.
Me: That's how you lot piece lifeguard.
Student: Is it?  My friend used to live a lifeguard, as well as he ever told me it was spelled G - Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 - U - R - D.

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Student: Would you lot ever appointment a communist?
Me: Given that I'm married, no I would non appointment a communist.
Student: What if Mr. Carter wasn't inwards the picture?

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Student 1: There's a peculiar stain on the rug inwards the dorsum of your classroom.  I want to know what happened.
Student 2: That's where she killed...
Student 1: ...George Clooney.  I know.
Student 3: George Clooney is dead?!?

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Volume 43: Things Teenagers Say

It feels similar it's been FOREVER since my concluding things teenagers say.  So, I gauge nosotros should remedy that.  Hope you're having a happy Thursday!


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:


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Student 1: Will I instruct my outcry upward dorsum at the destination of the hour?
Student 2: She's eating a banana, then apparently not.

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Did yous know that inward an alternate universe that mightiness genuinely brand sense?

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Mrs. Carter, yous may intend somebody took my notes for me, but my handwriting is simply on call for today.

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Student: Are your husband's legs nevertheless nighttime from the summer?
Me: Ummm...I'm simply going to walk away at i time as well as pretend yous didn't simply inquire that.

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Don't always seize amongst teeth into soap!

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Dude!  She's never brushed her teeth amongst deodorant before!

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I write my 2's similar an adult now.

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I desire to skip schoolhouse inward my closet.

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You bring a mom, too?!?

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Why does spaghetti odor similar puke when yous instruct to launder the pan out?

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I dear sneezing.

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I locked him inward my torso i time.

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I don't odor similar cigarettes.  I odor similar laundry detergent.

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Guys, I nearly didn't article of apparel a chapeau this morning.  I woke upward as well as looked inward the mirror.  My pilus looked similar a rooster.  It looked similar a skillful rooster!

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Student 1: You don't similar peanut rolls?!?
Student 2: No, I said I don't similar funerals!

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You know what's fun?  Not beingness single.

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Do yous call back how yous didn't similar the give-and-take "gizzards" inward the 4th grade?

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Student 1: Can nosotros heed to the Hamilton soundtrack?
Student 2: We're reading Hamilton inward English linguistic communication class!
Student 1: Really?
Student 3: No, we're reading HAMLET.
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I bring a box of playing cards inward my room to role for stats experiments as well as diverse activities. 

 Do yous desire to play 120,000 bill of fare selection up?

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Did yous know that if yous add together 5 years to your historic catamenia it volition enjoin yous how former yous volition hold upward inward 5 years?

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Student 1: My Christmas tree weighs over 300 pounds.
Student 2: There's no agency that your tree weighs equally much equally a semi truck.

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After sending a pupil to borrow graphing calculators from my husband's classroom:

He genuinely is Australian!

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When yous article of apparel fancy slacks that zero upward the dorsum instead of the front...

Are your pants on backwards?

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Jesus loves you.  But, he doesn't dear yous anymore because yous kicked my friend out of dejeuner detention.

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They are bottle flipping, but my organized faith is against that.  Can yous delight enjoin them to stop?

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Student: Is it possible for a Mexican pupil to neglect Castilian class? 
Me: I don't know.  We talk English.  Do whatsoever of our students neglect English linguistic communication class?

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You necessitate to enjoin Mr. Carter to pace upward his game.  His room is non equally colorful equally yours.

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They bring Subway inward Australia?  I didn't fifty-fifty intend they had towns there. 

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So if you're blind as well as consume carrots, create yous instruct your eyesight back?

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Me: Stop burping. 
Student: What?  This isn't a gratis country?
Me: It's non a gratis province when you're inward dejeuner detention.
Student: That's non what the Bible says!

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Student 1: They are going to acquit Trump.
Student 2: That could happen.  He's Swedish.
Student 1: He is pretty sweet. 

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Student: My manus is cramping.  I'm going to bring arthritis because of you!
Me: That's why nosotros completed our notebook over the course of report of the entire semester. You're trying to create it all inward i day.  Of course of report your manus hurts! 

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Saturday, October 28, 2017

Volume 48: Things Teenagers Say

It's the next-to-last twenty-four hours of the schoolhouse year, as well as thus this volition live the final book of Things Teenagers Say for this schoolhouse year.  Tomorrow morn volition live spent trading classrooms amongst about other teacher, as well as tomorrow afternoon volition live spent at the Awards Assembly.  It feels similar this twelvemonth has both flown past times as well as crawled past times at the same time.

This volition live the eighth installment of Things Teenagers Say for the 2016-2017 schoolhouse year.


Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:

Volume 36 | Volume 37 | Volume 38 | Volume 39 | Volume 40
Volume 41 | Volume 42 | Volume 43 | Volume 44 | Volume 45
Volume 46 | Volume 47

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Sorry, tin yous cash inwards one's chips quieter?

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I don't need to know how to necktie ribbon because that's my mom's or my hereafter wife's job.

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Didn't Cinderella's dad cash inwards one's chips of ebola?

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While playing Outburstas...

Me: You accept threescore seconds to advert every bit many states amongst ii discussion names.  
Team Captain: Las Vegas
Me: No
Team Captain: New England
Me: No
Team Captain: Idaho

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Student 1: What's KO - LAIR - A?  
Me: Do yous hateful cholera?
Student 2: Cholera is but about other agency that God shows his honey to us.

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I but honey it when people throw phones at me.

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I intend Jesus gave me this fractured wrist as well as thus I wouldn't accept to become to operate as well as could larn my algebra flat up.

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We should play "chanades." 

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If you're that forgetful, yous shouldn't accept a kid.  Get a dingo instead. 

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You wouldn't laissez passer CPR to a hobo? How sad!

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While playing Outburstas...

Me: Name something on a Christmas tree.
Team Captain: Tree Skirt
Me: No
Team Captain: Tree Pants
Me: No
Team Captain: Tree Khakis

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If a individual amongst your pilus whooped me, I powerfulness vociferation a lot.  

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Student: Have yous e'er heard Mr. Carter play the guitar?
Me: Yes
Student: Really?!?
Me: Yeah.  He plays the guitar at church building every Sunday.
Student: I bet he serenades you, too.

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Student: Mrs. Carter, produce yous accept a driver's license?
Me: No, I walk to operate everyday.
Student: Well, your hubby could drive yous everywhere.  You never know. 

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Some of my students also accept my husband's geometry class.  Here's a conversation I overheard betwixt about of them.

Student 1: You can't cheat.  He gives us split upward quiz versions.
Student 2: No he doesn't. 
Student 1: Yes he does.  There are 4 dissimilar quizzes.
Student 2: I don't produce my quizzes. 

--

He orders his Starbucks upside down.  I didn't fifty-fifty know that was possible.    

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Volume 49: Things Teenagers Say

It's been awhile since the final book of Things Teenagers Say. Kids tumble out quest if I'm going to create it this year, hence I gauge it's fourth dimension to part the start book of overheard conversations of the 2017-2018 schoolhouse year!

 

Check out previous issues of Things Teenagers Say:

Volume 46 | Volume 47 | Volume 48


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Student: Can you lot play roughly tunes piece nosotros work?
Me: Sure.
Student: Now, don't play whatsoever of that bible thumper music or Jesus reggae.

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Girls shave their legs together with and hence vesture jeans. I don't learn it.

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Student: Do you lot desire to purchase a ticket for ass basketball?
Me: I can't go. I learn a course of report at church building on Midweek nighttime for fourth graders.
Student: Do you lot learn them close math or God?

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Stop laminating things. You accept a problem.

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Stop cheating on me. Wait, I hateful cease cheating off me.

--

Student 1: Do you lot desire to know a fun fact close my shorts?
Student 2: Sure.
Student 1: They are my dad's shorts from his honeymoon amongst my mom.

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I know this is likely weird, but I simply made oculus contact amongst your hubby through the window.

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Dude, my granddad posts to a greater extent than materials to instagram than I do!

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I'm going to movement to Chernobyl.

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I consume fairly healthy. I simply consume big portions.

--

Congratulations! You volition win a Nobel prize inwards iii weeks for knowing my name. It volition locomote shipped to your door. If you lot don't learn it, that volition locomote due to a manufacturing defect.

--

During afterward schoolhouse tutoring
Me: Will you lot guys locomote okay if I run to the restroom?
Student: No. I volition expire from lack of Carter. I volition suffocate.

--

Does Mr. Carter accept a genuine Australian accent? I desire to listen him tell Mississippi.